Ten things you learn when you're cooped up in a midtown Manhattan apartment for most of the day:

1. You are NOT in a college dorm; blasting Lady Gaga at 2pm is NOT acceptable, according to the big scary sounding guy who is pounding on the door.

2. Pretending you are "Consuela the housekeeper" is not a reliable way of deceiving the big scary sounding guy who is pounding on the door. Thanks, Family Guy.

3. TBS, with its infinite Saved By The Bell/Fresh Prince reruns, is your best friend.

4. Those "book" things that they tried to force upon you in high school are pretty nice, too. Despite the lack of pictures =(

5. Jump roping in a small space is a very good way to damage nearby electronics and furniture.

6. The nearest reliable TV repair center is at Best Buy 529 5th avenue.

7. Cooked food is a luxury and a privilege. Conversely, Dunkin Donuts breakfast sandwiches are a great way to go into shock..... they taste so yummy though!

8. "Spike TV" and "CSI" are synonymous between noon and 5pm.

9. You... just.... might be Tyler Durden. Or maybe Tyler Durden is you.

10. You must get out of the apartment.

Clearly I'm fucking up this whole live-like-Holden-Caulfield-and-explore-the-city bit, but that's probably because I spend way too much time playing around in the 4am area. Le sigh.

If you're having a bad day or feeling shitty about yourself, think about this: for the past month, some of the brightest engineers in the country haven't been able to fix a leaky pipe [ that's been spewing gobs of oil into the Gulf of Mexico ) .

Round one. Fight!

Just made one of these on a whim. Fear I'll turn out like another one of those losers who just posts his feelings on the Internet. Figure Rorschachy sentence fragments will offset that fate.

Went to Max Brenner's. Great vibe. Dark, with loud music. Good for drowning out stupidity and cloaking physical flaws, as Elizabeth suggested. Nice theory. Sounds odd - but I like to see what I'm eating and hear the guy sitting six feet across the table from me. Even if it is Octavian.

raspy Rorschach breathing.

$2 dumplings at Prosperity Dumpling. Cheap eats make NYC amazing. Asked for coke. Lady hands me a Heineken. Welcome to Chinatown.

more raspy Rorschach breathing