forza petrolia

Recently a few oil execs went before Congress and got spanked silly, which was fine and all, but then one of the guys leading the hunt demanded an apology. Unfortunately, forcing somebody to say "I'm sorry" don't do SHIT. Remorse is only organic. You can't make that shit in a factory, and you can't squeeze it out of somebody, at least not like that. I don't know why "say you're sorry!" is such a popular tool when it comes to discipline. Going through the motion and actually meaning it are two VERY different things, and yet we seem to link them sometimes. Which might explain why a public figure can fuck up and say something mean, and then he'll release a lengthy statement full of big words that don't really mean anything, and then he's in the clear.

A few days ago I bumped into somebody who was all for hitting your kids as a form of discipline. The conversation went something like this:

Me: .... it fucks with their head. No animal is coded to do hurt their young. Okay, every once in a while some lion might go crazy and eat cubs, but that's different. Parental instinct says you feed the offspring, and show it how to hunt, and fight off the alligator that's trying to pull it under the water. Nowhere in the playbook does it say "hit your kid." You're three years old, and the hand that feeds you is also the hand that smacks you when you're out of line? That's more of a mindfuck than calc III. That's why you're not supposed to hit your dog either, at least not with your hand. Dog gradually links hands to smacks, so when Sally from down the block yells "Doggie!" and runs to pet him, he freaks out, moves to defend himself and bites her face off, and then it's, "OH, THE DOG'S A MENACE TO SOCIETY, WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN, OH, THE HUMANIT-"

Her: [smack]

Me: Ow.

Here's to hoping I never, ever get a handjob from her.